Psychologists Warn: Never Use These 5 Phrases when Talking to Your Child

Parents, one thing’s for sure, the way you talk to your children becomes their inner voice. Namely, the brain has many more neural connections when we’re younger and it absorbs almost everything that happens around us with the purpose to adapt to the surroundings better. As we age, our brain holds on to the most frequently used neural connections and removes everything we don’t commonly use. Without doubt, the voice of our fathers and mothers gets integrated deeply into our psyche.

Our Inner Voice

Since the voice of our parents is something like our inner voice, if they were angry most of the time they spoke to us while we were children, this is how we will deal with ourselves when we make mistakes. However, making mistakes is who we are and that’s not a reason to be angry and to punish ourselves harshly. Mistakes help us learn how to be better people and to avoid repeating them again.

How to Be a Good Parent

When a teenager or an adult has an inner voice which is constantly insulting and preventing us from trying new things, our parents didn’t do right. Parents need to be friendly, supporting, and our main motivators. Every parent should be honest with their child and always speak kindly and offer all the love they can. This will result in an inner voice that will support the adult later on in life, even when the parent is no longer there.

Avoiding These Phrases as a Parent Is a Must!

Stop Crying!

When a child does something they think it’s wrong, they start to cry, even when they didn’t do anything right. However, this is their emotion and they have the right to express their feelings. When you constantly tell your child to stop crying, you’re actually suppressing his/her emotions. Instead, tell them that it’s completely alright to cry because one should never hide their feelings, but what they did is not the right thing to do. Hug them and explain them where they went wrong so that they can learn from their mistakes.

You’re worthless!

Definitely, this is one of the worst phrases a parent could tell to a child. Especially since the parent is the one from whom the child expects approval. When you constantly say this, the child will constantly seek approval from the outside world. You should help them find their own worth and show them that we can all do better. Opt for phrases like: You can do better, nobody is perfect, you’ll do better next time, etc.

Big boys/girls don’t get scared!

This is never a good thing to say to a child because this suppresses how they actually feel. Hence, fear is not something bad, it’s a reminder that we need to be careful. One should never run away from it, but face it, be aware of it, and most importantly, learn from it. Real courage is not fearlessness, but facing fear even when we’re terrified. Tell your child that it’s okay to be scared because this happens to everyone. Tell them that they’re your hero!

I’m disappointed in you!

Making a child responsible for your disappointment is rather selfish. You can get disappointed in a friend, a movie, or your country’s politics, but you can never be disappointed in your child because you’re there to lead them on the right path. So, when they make a mistake, guide them back towards the right path. Explain them where they went wrong and assure them that they can always do better.

You’re not enough!

This phrase implies that the child is lacking something in order for them to do what they love or be who they want to be. A child is always enough to himself/herself, they just need to grow enough to become what they are, just as a tree grows from a tiny seed. Teach your child that it’s enough to be or do what they love, they just need to work their way towards that goal.

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